At Amast, we want to help you start to move toward what really matters to you, whatever that is. These are sometimes called values, or what really matters to you, or the life you want to be living.
Deep down inside, what is important to you? What do you want your life to stand for? What sort of qualities do you want to cultivate as a person? How do you want to be in your relationships with others?
Values are our deepest desires about how we want to interact with the world, other people, and ourselves. They can guide us and motivate us as we move through life. Values reflect what we want to do, and how we want to do it.
Your values are extremely personal and can only come from you. We see values suggested to us by others around us all the time – our families, our friends, our workplaces, governments, religions, and more. We may share some of the values they suggest or model, or we may find that something else really matters to us. Sometimes depression can feel worse because we are living life in a way that is not aligned with our own values.
Values or goals?
Values are not the same as goals. Values involve ongoing action: they are like directions we keep moving in, while goals are what we want to achieve along the way. A value is like heading West; a goal is like the river or mountain we aim to cross while traveling in that direction. Goals can be achieved or “crossed off”, whereas values are ongoing (no matter how far West you go, you never reach it). For example, if you want to be a loving, caring, supportive person, that is a value: it involves ongoing action. In contrast, if you want to get married, that’s a goal – it can be “crossed off”.
Example Values
Here is a list of some values. This is just a starting point – these are not the only values that exist, and you may think of things that matter to you outside of this list. Values are more complex than a single word can capture, so you should expand and define these terms however you like.
Acceptance Fairness Kindness Authenticity Fitness Love Caring Flexibility Leadership Compassion Freedom Mindfulness Connection Generosity Order Contribution Gratitude Openness Courage Honesty Patience Creativity Humor Persistence Curiosity Humility Safety Equality Independence Spirituality Excitement Justice Support
Values Clarification Exercise - The Bullseye
To begin, please write down your values, whatever they are (remember, everyone’s values are different, and there are no “right” or “wrong” values). Define what they mean to you. There’s no limit to how many values you can have, but it may be easier to start by listing 3 or 4.
Next, consider how your values fit into your relationships, work/education, personal growth/health, and leisure. Write down which values apply in each area of life and how. You may find these areas overlapping with each other, and that’s ok.
1. Relationships: Refers to intimacy, closeness, and bonding with your partner, family, friends, and even how you behave toward strangers. What sort of relationships do you want to build? How do you want to be in these relationships? What personal qualities do you want to develop?
2. Work/Education: Refers to your career, education, and knowledge and skills development (this may include volunteering and other unpaid work). How do you want to be towards your clients, customers, and colleagues? What personal qualities do you want to bring to your work?
3. Personal Growth/Health: Refers to your ongoing development as a human being. This may include spirituality or religion, creativity, developing life skills, things you do to improve your health (like exercise, nutrition, meditation, etc.) and habits that can affect your health like smoking, drinking, and other substance use.
4. Leisure: Refers to how you spend your time. This can include your hobbies or interests for rest, recreation, and creativity.
The Bullseye: Read through your values, then make an X in each area of the circle to represent where you stand today. An X closer to the center of the board means that you are living fully by your values in that area of life. An X far from the center means that you are currently far from living by your values. Since there are four areas, you should make four Xs on the board.
PDF Version: https://www.amasthealth.com/s/Values-Clarification.pdf